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Tuesday 12 December 2017  
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Home » Manners and Etiquette » Husband And Wife

The ruling of a woman who does not listen to the speech of her husband

حكم المرأة التي لا تسمع كلام زوجها، ولا تطيعه

Question:

What is your opinion of a woman who does not listen to the speech of her husband, and nor does she obey him, and she opposes him in many of the matters: such as she leaves without his command, and sometimes she leaves sneakily without his knowledge?

ما رأيك بالمرأة التي لا تسمع كلام زوجها، ولا تطيعه، وتخالفه في كثير من الأمور‏:‏ كأن تخرج بدون أمره، وتخرج أحيانًا خلسة بدون علمه‏؟‏

Answer:

It is obligatory upon the woman to obey her husband in goodness, and is it prohibited upon her to be disobedient to him and it is not permissible for her to leave his house except with his permission.The prophet sallahu alayhi wasalam said,

‏‏إذا دعا الرجل امرأته على فراشه، فأبت أن تجيء، فبات غضبان عليها؛ لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح‏

when a man calls his wife to bed, and she refuses to come, whilst he remains angry with her, the angels curse her till the morning.

Agreed upon (narrated by Bukharee in his saheeh (6/150) without mentioning 'whilst he remains angry with her' ...فبات غضبان عليها‏..‏‏. Muslim narrated it in his saheeh (2/1060‏) with the wording 'and she does not come to him' فلم تأته‏.‏‏.‏‏ in place of 'and she refuses to come' ,فأبت أن تجيء‏‏‏)

and the prophet sallahu alayhi wa salam said 'if i was to command anyone to prostrate to another, 'i would have indeed commanded the woman to prostrate to her husband due to the greatness of his right over her' (narrated by Abu Dawood in his sunan (2/250))

and allah ta'aala says,

‏الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ وَاللاَّتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ في الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill­conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful).. (surah An-nisaa:34)

so he the most perfect has made clear that the man has authority over the woman, and that when it is denied for him, he takes with her the dettering measurement, from this is what indicates the obligation of obeying him in goodness and the prohibition of her opposing him without right.

يجب على المرأة أن تطيع زوجها بالمعروف، ويحرم عليها معصيته، ولا يجوز لها الخروج من بيته إلا بإذنه‏. قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم‏:‏ ‏(‏إذا دعا الرجل امرأته على فراشه، فأبت أن تجيء، فبات غضبان عليها؛ لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح‏)‏‏.‏ متفق عليه ‏[‏رواه البخاري في ‏صحيحه‏‏ ‏(‏6/150‏)‏ - بدون ذكر‏.‏‏.‏‏.‏ فبات غضبان عليها‏.‏‏.‏‏.‏- ورواه مسلم في ‏صحيحه‏‏ ‏(‏2/1060‏)‏ بلفظ‏:‏‏.‏‏.‏‏.‏ فلم تأته‏.‏‏.‏‏.‏ بدل فأبت أن تجيء‏.‏‏.‏‏]‏‏.‏

وقال صلى الله عليه وسلم‏:‏ ‏(‏لو كنت آمرًا أحدًا أن يسجد لأحد؛ لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها من عظم حقه عليها‏)‏ ‏[‏رواه أبو داود في ‏سننه‏‏ ‏(‏2/250‏)‏‏]‏‏.‏

وقال تعالى‏:‏ ‏{‏الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ وَاللاَّتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ في الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ‏}‏ ‏[‏سورة النساء‏:‏ آية 34‏]‏‏ ‏

فبين سبحانه أن الرجل له القوامة على المرأة، وأنه إذا تنكرت له؛ يتخذ معها الإجراء الرادع؛ ممّا يدل على وجوب طاعته بالمعروف وتحريم مخالفتها له بغير حق‏.‏

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan
Translated by Umm Mujaahid bint Abdul Khaaliq ibn Muhammad faadil
http://www.sahab.com/go/fatwa.php?id=623&query=
Other subjects of interest:

Islamic Greetings
Interaction With Muslims
Guests And Hosting
Neighbours
Eating And Drinking
Bathroom Manners
Sleeping
Parents And Children
Husband And Wife
Adornments And Attire
Non-Muslims


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